Things Are Not Always As They Seem

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I live on a wooded, hilly, two-lane road with no shoulder. It’s lovely, but you must be careful as a driver and pedestrian. There aren’t many pedestrians on this road, but if you come upon one, they’re typically bushwhacking adjacent to the road and not on the road. We’ll get cyclists riding in a group on a weekend morning, but they’re in a visual clump, easily seen. Most people know to take the road seriously.

This is why I was like, “Whoa!” as I crested a blind hill the other day in my car and saw, on the short downhill in front of me, a man driving a shiny black car practically creeping next to a lady walking in the middle of the road. They were arguing with each other. He was hanging out the driver’s side window, trying to convince her of something. She would respond, throw her hands up, and march ahead — in the middle of the road.

Oh, my goodness, I thought. This couple is having a marital spat — IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD.

I slowed down to a creep, silently pleading not to be hit by the next car to crest the blind hill behind me. I made my way toward the shiny black car, which was doing nothing to respond to my presence. The driver was zoned in on his entanglement with this woman. It was clear she wanted nothing to do with him. He kept motioning for her to get in the car, and she kept marching away down the center yellow line on the tarmac.

In front of this arguing couple sat another blind hill. For the next car cresting that hill, there’d be an unfortunate surprise waiting — a random lady walking head-on.

There was a nasty motor vehicle accident just begging to happen.

Meanwhile, I started to freak out about the creepy man in the shiny car. He wasn’t taking “no” for an answer from this lady, and I wondered what might transpire if the two of them ever got back inside a building together, alone, and mad as hell.

This is when the lady veered off the road and started marching up the shared driveway where I live. She walked right towards my house. My heart stopped.

Oh, no!

Was she looking for a place of safety from this guy? But, if so, now he’d know where I live! Would he think I know her? I had no idea who these people were!

I drove my car into my driveway, parked, ran into my house, and locked the door. I turned the interior lights off, stood back from my kitchen windows, and spied on the scene. The lady started to walk towards my front door. The man slowly drove up, stopped the car next to my front yard, and just sat there. I was freaking out.

But suddenly, the lady changed course and walked around the back of my house.

What the — ??

Then, she came back around and trudged through the overgrown, wooded area in my yard. I thought this was weird since she had the clear option to walk a little to the side and onto the lawn. Nothing was clear about this moment. I felt for this couple, but I didn’t want something dangerous to happen at my front door. I grappled over whether I should call the police. I was hoping it’d become apparent to me what to do. I’d never been in a situation like this before.

Just then, as the lady weaved around my yard, the man got out of his car, and then another lady appeared out of nowhere. Perplexed, I said to the empty kitchen, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

This new lady went up to the wandering woman and started talking to her. They knew each other. What was going on?

Then, before my mind could do any more somersaults, a new car appeared and parked next to the shiny black car. The original marital dispute seemed to be morphing into a different scenario. Why was this second lady involved, and who was this younger man getting out of the second car?

And, shortly, who was this older man driving up in a third car?

This is when I realized I might be observing something different than I’d assumed.

I was right.

“Excuse me,” I said, walking towards the group gathered near the end of my driveway, “Can I help you?”

The young man came forward with a pained look on his face.

“I’m so sorry, ma’am,” he said with devastation in his voice. “That’s my mom. She has advanced Alzheimer’s, and she thinks your house is her house. We live nearby.” He pointed to the other side of the hilly road.

My heart sank. He continued.

“This is her caregiver,” he pointed to the second lady, “And this is her husband, who she called to help get my mom off the middle of the road.” He pointed to the man from the shiny black car.

My heart sank further. Here, I’d assumed the worst about these people, and they were heroes.

“I’m so sorry about this,” I said, heartbroken for them. “Please don’t apologize. Anyone would want the best outcome for you. I’m sorry your family is dealing with this challenge.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” the young man said. “We really appreciate that.”

Soon, the event was over. The older man — the real husband of the wandering woman — coaxed his ailing wife into their car, and the group drove off.

This experience gave me such pause to consider how easy it is to go with a first impression of something or someone and then run with it — for quite a while or even a lifetime. Things are not always as they seem.

One week later.

I was out walking as the sun in the sky smiled down on the world. It said, “All is well.” Or I thought it did. Then the young man and his father slowed their car past me with their window down.

“Ma’am, have you seen a woman walking around the area?”

I realized it was them.

“You guys, it’s me--the lady from the other day. Remember? I live over there.” I pointed toward my house.

“Ohhh. Hi!”

“What happened?” I asked, “I thought you said you put double locks on all the doors.”

“We did, but this time my mom climbed out a window.”

These poor people.

“Well, I’ll join the search. How about if I go that way?” I suggested.

“That’d be so great. Thank you,” the son said. “And the police are coming soon, along with a helicopter.”

This was serious.

For the next half hour, I met three different cops in their cars as they slowed down to talk to me on the residential roads. We swapped notes. A helicopter hovered in circles above our heads. Eventually, word came that the lady had been spotted by the helicopter. In one week, she’ll move to a residential memory care facility.

The world is a complicated place. I’m best if I don’t assume, though I know that’s exactly what the brain does to be efficient. Still, I can try to pause and wonder more often. And I can keep those who are suffering close to my heart. And I can write about it so others might consider these things, too.

And that’s what I’ve got for today. I’m grateful for what I’ve got.

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Have a nice rest of your week, friends.