I Don't Need 50% Off Hot Deals--I Need Regular, Everyday People

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Pouring rain, but I wanted to walk. I’ve been known to do an “umbrella walk”, but that’s for short distances. The bent arm holding the umbrella for too long shuts off its blood flow and takes weeks to unbend. Or that’s what it feels like.

I could have gone to the gym, but why take advantage of my membership fee? I could have walked on the treadmill at home, but that’s so yesterday. What were my other options? Only one stood out — set my alarm for o’dark morning and join the early-riser mall walkers.

To my mind, mall walking is a little funky, a little different, certainly a big change of scenery from the natural flora/fauna scape. And what an inspiring, interesting bunch — people of every size, age, and persuasion speedwalking, mid-pace cruising, or lollygagging along, alone or with others, music plugged to ears, phone on speaker hovering in front of face, or in zoned-out silence. Plus, there was the constant holler of sales-pitch signage in every store window, trying to convince us passersby that we wanted — needed— what was now a must-have 50% off.

It was fun and inspiring, but odd and disorienting.

It started like this:

I stood at the edge of one of the numerous hallways that jut from the giant center walkway of the mall. Since my Garmin watch was useless inside the mall, I needed a way to effortlessly track my laps, so my brilliant brain devised a plan. I found a small piece of cardboard trash on the floor. I dragged it with my shoe next to a line of floor tiles running along the wall. With each completion of a mall loop, I’d move the cardboard bit from tile to tile, marking the laps I walked. Yes, if the janitor got there early, the plan was dead, but I had faith. I had no other options, either.

I turned on the tunes and set out. In a matter of seconds, the messaging from the stores rang insistent. I should spend. I should save in the process. I needed more things. My life would be better once I acquired — make no mistake — and if I didn’t purchase, it’d surely be a mistake. Each store had its vibe and pitch, whether they sold diamonds, ice cream, housewares, fashion, or toys.

Take it home today. The best version of you. Irresistible! Share the fun! Stay connected! No credit needed. Just mix with water.

Also, half of the kiosks dotting the main walkway made it persistently clear “Serena Williams is on Ro”.

Yet, with all this marketing chaos swirling, I took in the people around me — like the tall, thin father with his nearly-as-tall son who clung to his father’s side, both watching something on a phone as they made forward progress. The father would nod to me as we passed each other. The son was immersed in his father’s presence, clutching his father’s arm and nestling into his torso, clearly unable to speak much or walk smoothly, having obvious difficulty functioning in many ways except for a constant, earnest yearning for his dad. His face comprised a vulnerable, disabled contortion, and the father beamed with the deepest kind of parental love and authenticity. They looked more beautiful than anything in any store window in any mall ever could. All I wanted to do was drink up their tight bond for the rest of the day — or my life. I needed 50% off nothing. I needed them.

I walked on.

Buy more, save more! Your business is what we’re built for! Start with comfort. Style — your way. Zero down, special financing. And don’t forget the extras!

It was easy to forget the extras when the people in front of me told such a broad story of Human. There was the man who slid along the floor, step by gradual step, each with keen effort and attention, his walker making possible his desire to be out and about.

There were numerous older women in pairs, walking, talking, smiling, in shape, who appeared to be early morning mall regulars — unlike me, who gawked at the scene, the shops, the novelty of it all.

There was the mom who walked hand-in-hand with her young Down’s Syndrome daughter, each of them lit up in pink dresses with matching black velvet bows in their hair — fancy, pretty, bouncy, chatty, two beams of light.

There was the fellow who I gauged was older than me, but maybe not, listening to his phone, but also keen to pass me, I could tell. I was having none of that. If you want to pass me, thank you. You just turned on my competitive button, and now my walk at the mall will be that much better for my heart rate. Plus, now this weird activity got orders of magnitude more fun.

[For the record, he didn’t pass me.]

Unleash your power to become a legend. Five-star rated since 2013. Store-wide sale — 40–60% off. Shop without credit. Sized just right! Off price, on trend. Don’t miss the fun!

I couldn’t miss the fun because after I moved the little piece of cardboard trash to the next floor tile, I looked up and there was my beloved friend, whom I hadn’t seen in years. We hugged, kissed, couldn’t wipe the giant smile off our faces, and it had nothing to do with buy-one-get-one-free. It was a human-centered, bona fide joy thing.

She mentioned that her husband, my old running buddy, had been gone seven years now. Has it been that long? When he passed, our running community mourned. We loved him so deeply, having run endless miles with him, laughing together more than a life is thought capable of, and even with all this, we loved his wife even more. I hugged her in that mall and could barely let her go — her smile is still one of the best I’ve seen.

I left the mall with seven miles in my pocket and the glaring juxtaposition of all the captivating people next to the glitzy, loud branding.

The favorites you’ve been looking for!

I didn’t need favorites. I needed human company on my mall looping journey.

30-day money-back guarantee!

I didn’t want my money back. I wanted connection with others, however brief and thin, the hint of their stories trailing from their shoes.

Always keeping you in style. Big deals waiting!

The biggest deal was being among unassuming strangers. We arrived, we walked, we acknowledged each other’s presence with smiles and nods, we were simply ourselves in that mall, and that was enough.

The next biggest deal, of course, was that the janitor never showed up, and my loop-tracking system remained intact. If you go to the Fair Oaks Mall, look on the floor by the wall. You’ll see how many laps I did.

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(The sales pitch blurbs in this essay come courtesy of the signs at the mall.)

Have a wonderful rest of your week, friends.