Accountability for Shedland

Dear Shedland Members,

As President of Shedland, I have initiated a new plan for accountability among our community. We all know how fortunate we have it, more so than many animals in the local wild. It is underneath our two beautiful sheds (one with a more decrepit beauty than the other) that we’ve kept our families safe from the elements, and because of this we have a privileged life. Yet, our great fortune doesn’t give us immunity from common routine challenges. Lately I’ve heard from many of you that you are wanting new strategies to support you in this. Well, shed mates, I have just the thing! A new accountability structure that we can implement in our community to help each of us with our daily goals and responsibilities. I’ve dubbed it The Accountability Chain.

The Accountability Chain is a way for each of us to receive help, but also to help a friend in return. By partnering with a buddy, we can begin to make progress toward our goals. We’ll utilize each other to make commitments, check-in, follow through, and celebrate successes.

Without further ado, here is the Chain below. Add to it as needed. Let’s go, Shedland!!

Sincerely,

Rocky Raccoon, President of Shedland

The Accountability Chain Sign-up Sheet

Monday:

Shedland Member: Beatrice Raccoon

Accountability Partner: Dawn Racoon [and Lily Raccoon]

Beatrice: I need accountability for Spring cleaning. I’m having the darndest time getting myself to this task. I’d like to commit to scratching out the winter dung and laying in new grass under Shed One by the end of the week.

Dawn: Great goal, Bea! Where will you put the dung btw?

Beatrice: I’ll put it between the sheds for now.

Dawn: Bea, can we find a better spot for the dung? I sit in that area while on night surveillance.

Beatrice: Sure. Where should I put it?

Dawn: How about over by the big holly?

Beatrice: Sounds good. Will do. I’ll check in with you on Wednesday to update you on my progress.

Dawn: You got this, Bea.

Lily: Go Shedland!

Dawn: Lily, I'm Bea's partner.

Tuesday:

Shedland Member: Dawn Raccoon

Accountability Partner: Beatrice Raccoon [and Lily Raccoon, as extra, in case]

Dawn: My big juicy goal is to thoroughly pick through the trash cans. I commit to dragging back as many soggy veggies, burnt dumplings, and eggshells as I can find from the trash to Shed Two. I will do this by the time of our community party next weekend.

Beatrice: Yum. But Dawn, I thought I was dumping the winter dung along that path. Yes? No?

Dawn: Good catch. I forgot. Okay, how about I drag it around back? I commit to dragging the trash treats around back by the weekend. I’ll check in by Friday to give you an update.

Beatrice: Sounds good. I’ll look for your update. Also, thanks for doing this! It’s going to be a great party.

Dawn: Thanks, Bea. I think it’s going to be an awesome party. Rocky agreed to sing for us. Lol. Remember last time? Was it more comedic or musical? I can’t decide.

Beatrice: Comedic.

Lily: We are amazing! Go team!

Beatrice: Lily, thanks, but I got this.

Lily: I want to help, too. I don’t have a partner.

Dawn: What about Rocky? Ask him.

Lily: I don’t think so. He’s still in a pout after I made fun of his teetering butt hanging out of the trash the other day. I told him I tried to keep my comments to myself but just couldn’t. Who could?? He then said I needed accountability on that. He thinks he’s the boss of everyone!

Wednesday:

Shedland Member: Jackson Raccoon

Accountability Partner: Rocky Raccoon

Jackson: I need help with sprucing up my look for the ladies now that it’s Spring mating. I want to shed some of this winter weight. I commit to NOT walking by way of the outdoor cat food bowls for one whole week. I’ll travel the roundabout way home, and only scavenge at mealtime.

Rocky: Awesome, Jackson. How can I support you?

Jackson: Can I text you at dinnertime and tell you I’m not at the cat food bowls?

Rocky: Absolutely. I believe you are going to look sharp for the ladies in no time.

Jackson: Thanks Rocky. If I look half as good as you, I’ll be happy.

Rocky: Hey, buddy. Any lady would be happy to have you.

Lily: Jackson, I’m just trying to help here. If you want to know what the ladies like, we like a guy who’s skilled at getting in and out of the trash can. If you get stuck, and hang off the edge for all to see, we just can’t help ourselves. We will laugh, and then try to mate with someone else.

Rocky: [growl]

Jackson: Lily, thanks for the insight, but Rocky is my accountability partner. We’re doing okay over here. I heard Robin is looking for a partner.

Lily: Robin flies solo. He won’t ever ask for help.

Message from Rocky Raccoon, President: It’s come to my attention that some of you are trying to ‘butt’ into existing partnerships. Perhaps this is noble, but it’s also not necessary. Choose someone to partner up with and focus on your own partner. Great job everybody with this! Keep up the good work!

Thursday:

Shedland Member: LILY!

Accountability Partner: NOBODY!

Lily: So, I need help with not trying to be helpful with accountability for Shedland. My difficulty is that no one will partner with me, even though I know FOR A FACT that I would make the best partner of the whole group, hands down, no question. I’m going to commit to not so-called ‘butting’ in anymore; sitting in my corner under Shed 2 all by myself; not getting in the way; and stewing.

NOBODY: Nobody says nothing because nobody is my partner.

Rocky: Lily, I thought you were going to ask for accountability on not making light of my ‘lack of skill’.

Lily: Okay, sure. You want to be my partner then?

Rocky: I can’t. I’m already Jackson’s partner. You should ask Robin. He says he needs help but is afraid to ask.

Friday:

Shedland Member: Beatrice Raccoon

Beatrice: Help, everybody! Please! Rocky is laying on the road by the mailboxes. He’s not moving. We need to bring him to safety! Who can come quick?!

Jackson: I’m down there in half a second!

Lily: Less than half!

Dawn: I’m already down here. He’s alive! He needs our help stat! Hurry!

Message from Dawn, Shedland Secretary: Shedland, in light of the recent road accident Rocky suffered, I’m changing our Accountability Sign-up Sheet to a Community Help Sheet. Rocky needs our help right now. Lily has offered to coordinate the various tasks. Please give what you can. Thank you, Shedland. You’re irreplaceable.

The Shedland ‘Help Rocky’ Sign-up

Saturday:

Dawn: I’m going to donate the trash treats I’ve retrieved so far to Rocky. I’ll pile it up in his corner under the shed. Can anyone bring water to him?

Jackson: I’ll carefully drag the cat’s water bowl over. If it’s under the shed, Cat Lady will never know.

Lily: Awesome, you two. Can anyone please come and rub Rocky’s feet at night? He’s antsy and in pain. It helps him stay put so his leg will heal. Do any of you sing by chance?

Jackson: I can rub the feet. I suggest you hit up Robin for singing. He sang lullabies to my kids once. I can attest his voice is soft and fresh as moss.

Lily: Terrific, Jackson. Hey. Does anyone know where that deck of cards ran off to? Rocky is royally bored. I’ll play gin with him if we have cards somewhere. I’d look myself but I’m nursing Rocky through the night. Let me know.

Beatrice: I have the cards! I borrowed them this past year while I had my ankle sprain. Dawn and I are quite the card sharks. We can come over and play with Rocky, but I doubt he’ll win a game with us. I play to win. Dawn plays to demolish. That’s the best I can offer.

Jackson: Sounds like you two haven’t ever played Rocky. He will take no prisoners. You’ll see.

Beatrice: I stand by my original statement. Game on.

Lily: Raccoon Book Club, are you still meeting? Rocky could use activities to bide the time. How about he joins your next discussion? What are you reading?

Dawn: Rocky is completely welcome to read with us. Right now, we’re reading a book about a raccoon CEO who quit corporate life to become a stray cat trainer. He amassed the most outdoor cat food ever recorded. It’s a fascinating read. Our next meeting can be next to Rocky.

Lily: You guys are all amazing. Rocky says to tell you so. He is so thankful. Also, in case anyone is interested, he and I have melted the ice between us. I never noticed how cute his nose is. He says the way I wash his toes is like a dream come true.

Three Weeks Later . . .

Dear Shedland,

I wanted to formally thank all of you for coming to my rescue and aid during a difficult chapter in my life. I always knew our little shed community was the best, but you bested even that. What started as a community accountability plan, pivoted on a dime to react to the challenges of one of our members, specifically me. I cannot begin to thank you enough. Each of you brought your talents and strengths, but most of all your generosity and kindness. I am so proud to serve this group of outstanding raccoons. I am indebted to our beloved Shedland.

Also, Lily and I would like to invite you to our wedding. Dawn is catering. Robin is performing. Jackson is my best man--and still looking for a date, ladies. Bea is organizing the happy affair. I don’t get around like I used to anymore, but I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

See you under the sheds, friends,

Rocky Raccoon, President of Shedland

The Accountability Chain Sign-up Sheet Returns

Monday:

Shedland Member: Jackson Raccoon

Jackson: Can someone hold me accountable to break up with Mona from the wedding? I really don’t want to break up because she’s perfect for me, but she wants us to get married and move to that cold alley behind the pizzeria dumpster. She refers to it as ‘upscale living’. But I’m a country boy who loves the warm crawl space under a shed. And I love a little cat food now and again. And I love you, Shedland.